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The Daily Show

US late-night satirical television program

Example Sentence (Quote)

"[ Michelle Obama ]'s a Democrat. She must prove she loves America. As opposed to Republicans, who everyone knows love America"”they just hate half the people living in it! [audience applauds] Apparently they're all here tonight." - The Daily Show

Example Sentence (Quote)

" [in response to John McCain's use of air quotes with regards to women's health in the third presidential debate] Thank you, John McCain, for finally exposing the seedy underbelly of the women's health scam" Let's face it: women loooove abortions, and will do anything to get one the later the better. Hemorrhages, severe uterine infections, dying, blah blah blah blah. And while we're at it, enough with the whining about rape ," incest ," and incest rape. We're on to you, ladies. Those aren't the golden ticket to the Abortion Factory, okay? Listen, John McCain has finally put the concerns of women where they belong: in derisive air quotes! And this transcends politics, Jon. Reasonable people can disagree about abortion, but still agree on the unimportance of women's health. It's about equality. And I'm sure if John McCain was raped, and has a baby growing in his penis, he would want it publicly discussed in the same level of abstraction without concern for his specific life. Or.. ."penis."" - The Daily Show

Example Sentence (Quote)

" [quietly] I guess there's one more thing I want to say to him... uh, if you're heading out from uptown, take 42nd Street west to 9th Avenue, make a left, go down four blocks, Lincoln Tunnel's on your right, and you know what? [taking E-ZPass out of his pocket] Here's my E-ZPass, get the fuck out of here." - The Daily Show

Example Sentence (Quote)

" [whispering] Thank you, Jesus!" - The Daily Show

Example Sentence (Quote)

" All the news our sponsors approve of." - The Daily Show


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